As working mamas, we continually search for that perfect recipe for being able to do it all. It’s a constant juggle back and forth hoping we don’t let one of those balls drop.
I used to hear it all the time…” you need to find balance” or “you can’t do it all.” While they were right in a lot of ways, I had to find a unique way it could work for me. I stopped believing there was a balance.
For me, it was all about integrating my life. Finding ways to blend them together. Instead of trying to separate my work from my life, I’ve come to embrace that it’s all life.
1. Saying “No” Is Not Selfish
For some reason we are not all naturally equipped with this ability. Somewhere along the line we were conditioned that saying “no” made us bad, or that if we did people wouldn’t approve. And let’s face it, most of us are people pleasers.
Age and experience have taught me that you aren’t going to please everyone anyway, so you might as well be okay with it.
There will always be another “great opportunity.” There’s always going to be another event, Facebook invite, chance for your kid to participate, but if it doesn’t truly fit into your priorities in this season in your life, consider just saying no.
I get it. The fear of missing out is real. But next time you get asked to do something maybe take a beat, and don’t just say “yes.” Pray about it. Maybe after a day or two you’ll realize saying no feels pretty good.
2. Flex Your Work Schedule
While we don’t always have this luxury, the standard work schedule is becoming a thing of the past. More and more employers are realizing that flexible schedules make for happier employees, less stress, build trust, and create an overall higher morale.
With three young children, the standard schedule doesn’t always work for me. I have found that early mornings can be the best time to get some work done before my kids are in full swing, after bedtime is great for answering some emails and prepping for the next day, going in at 7 and leaving the office at 4 so I can help get some homework done, all are great ways I make it work for me.
Be respectful of others in your work environment. Make sure that your flex schedule doesn’t disrupt their productivity. Ask your boss and make sure you show them that you’re still willing to put in the time, get your work done, and be more dedicated.
3. Your Health Has To Be A Priority
Our physical and mental health are so important to maintaining a busy lifestyle.
Fueling our bodies with foods that are nutritious and staying active are crucial to sustaining energy throughout the day and maintaining a busy lifestyle. If you don’t feel well or lack the energy, then all areas of your life will suffer.
Your health isn’t just about the food we eat and exercise, it’s also about making sure we get enough sleep, building mental stamina, and focusing on our emotional well-being.
I have three kids that I want to be there for. I don’t want to be wiped out at the end of the day. I take care of myself, so they not only have a mom who shows up as her best self, but also so they are learning by example.
4. Faith
This one is a game changer. Coming to know that my life is all about serving a really big God who is stronger than anything I will ever face has given me more peace and joy than I have ever experienced.
Saying no became so much easier because I started realizing God would show me the opportunities that He had for me, that he would never want me to push myself to a point of not having time for Him, and that He has me exactly where I’m supposed to be and when the time is right I will know which steps He wants me to take.
I have learned to pray in all situations. I have learned to be thankful even for the struggles in my life. Learning to appreciate I am right where God wants me, has taken so much pressure off. Day to day situations that once would have crushed me, don’t break me anymore. Praying in every situation and handing my daily burdens over has changed my life in so many ways. I’m still a work in progress, and anxiety can still get a hold on me, but really focusing on my faith and getting to know God better, has transformed my life.
5. Write Everything Down
I remember the good old days when someone could ask me to do something and I’d be able to remember it the next day. Fast forward 10 years and three kids, and I can’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
There is no way I can remember all the assignments, practices, appointments, and other obligations unless I put it down on paper. If it doesn’t exist on my calendar, the chances of me remembering are slim. If it doesn’t get written in my planner, it tends to drift into space.
Writing things down frees up headspace, it keeps you organized, and keeps things from slipping through the cracks. I carry my planner with me everywhere. It has become a part of my daily routine to write it all down daily. There’s great apps and programs for doing it digitally, and if that is your jam, rock it. I still prefer the good old-fashioned pen and paper method.
Break things down into small sub-tasks so they don’t feel so overwhelming. You’ll be amazed at the burden that is lifted once you have it written down all in one place.
6. Give Yourself Grace
Life is messy. That’s the truth. My type A, OCD self, has so much trouble accepting this.
When my son’s project doesn’t look like it came off Pinterest, or my daughter’s hair doesn’t have a perfect braid, or they walk out the door and they look like their pants are ready for a flood…just let it go. We are all right there with you.
Maybe today is the day you didn’t say it just right or you missed that workout because you were just too tired. Maybe you yelled at your kids or let them eat cereal for supper in front of a movie, it’s all going to be okay.
It’s perfectly okay to just need a break.
7. Don’t Forget to Live
I have gotten into the habit lately of reminding myself that today is all that exists. It’s not about yesterday, it’s not about tomorrow, today can be a really great day all on its own.
When you don’t learn to live in the present, life passes you by.
It can be really easy to get caught up in getting it all done and staying organized. Every week we go to work, pick up the kids, do homework, keep the laundry going, clean the house, and do it all over again the next week. We can’t forget that life is happening right now.
Don’t forget to cherish the experiences of today, even if it’s so small as enjoying the way your child laughed. If you can, go on a vacation. Take an adventure. Do something you’ve never done before. Life goes so fast. Don’t forget life is happening right now.
8. Reduce Decision Making
Making decisions, even ones that seem small, can wear a person out. Every morning we wake up and decide what to eat, what to wear, or what to put on our kids, and throughout the day it depletes our energy.
Habits and routine have become a game changer for me. Developing systems and consistency for my daily life have reduced the number of decisions I had to make, and greatly increased my output in a day.
Our brains can only make so many decisions in one day, and as a mom and a professional I meet that quota before noon.
When I go into a week, I know what I’m going to eat for meals, I know my workout plan, my habits are so formed for my morning that I don’t even have to think, and all of it has helped me have a clearer head and remain more productive.
9. Don’t Even Try to Do It All
Let’s be honest, for those of us who have tried the Super Woman gig, we may fool other people for a while, but inside, we know that one more thing will put us right over the edge. Doing it all is simply not a reality.
We have a lot to juggle, and it can easily become so overwhelming. Between managing a team, expectations, a home, and personal goals… I have hit rock bottom more times than I would care to admit.
The best tips I have for you are figure out what’s important. Figure out where you can get help. Figure out where you can let go.
I stopped chasing so many goals and started setting just a few that I really wanted to achieve. I found someone to help with cleaning and found ways to make meals easier. Sites like HelloFresh and others can be real game changers.
Make sure you are taking care of what is important in your life. The rest can wait.